raining in new york.

my new york is so raining. 

I feel it now. how rain can be painfull, and how many things I can learn.

noone haven't told me that diabetes will learn me how to eat. how to be with myself, just in the moment of tasting. I am taste. 

noone haven't told me that I'll be much more myself in my existence, than any other time.

last three weeks like a nightmare. getting to know about disease. getting to know disease. getting to know me, again. 

well, a nightmare was time, before I got to know what is happening to me. no treatments. that was not me, at all. now I am in the reality. wow, I am Ada again. with a lot of ideas, plan, inspirations, projects. Dreams. wow, with love inside. with understanding. flowing with a water, with a river, that I am, and that I was always. 

from the time I got medications I am able to feel happiness again. after so long time I couldn't describe what I felt. I feel pure happiness, even in the moment that I need to wake up at 5 in the morning. I already forgot how beautiful can a sky be, at 5 in the morning!

diabetes learns me that choosing is so important. I couldn't have/to be/eat anything and anyone. just like now I need to choose, what  to eat. a banana or a chocolate, beacuse I need to choose just one of it. choosing from a things I am willing to eat on a dinner, to choosing a place to go for a vacation trip. 

I don't feel sleepy any more, actually i am working with children. I've got back my mind and creativity. feeling autumn. the weather makes me think, feel power to follow an inspiration. year by the year I deeply feel autumn. again and again. 

thank you Insulin, you make me feel. I think every girl I've painted from some time, has a name. and it was name of "Insulin". 

I just got to know my close friend have cancer. What is happening to this world? There is some time in life, that woman needs to became a witch, and connect. I'll try.