czwartek, 2 grudnia 2010

pissed off very much*

2 grudnia ubiegłego roku.
to już ponad rok od kąd ja tutaj.
"waiting to download: Johnny Cash- walk the line- soundtrack.
pissed off very much.
whole day was one of the most crazy for long time. I don't know what energy made that but while standing in Tarnów, waiting for bus home, my high school teacher came. Yes, we recognized each other.
27 year_old teacher. rather high-school friend than teacher. he learned us polish and literature. very crazy. we've talked. very inspirating person, working with children, he is loving his work and what he is doing. I"ve seen it in the school, I should have told him about it, but I didn't. How I liked the lessons, how inspirating he was than and how he is still.
he is an inspirator of theatre, of local leaders academy and of creativity in our region. He told me to come to work with him.
maybe someday :)
very positive, very, especially because he came just to talk to me :)
in my room started some revolutions. my parents want to buy me and my sister new bed. yes "bed" not two beds, but only one. for me and her* for me 20, and her 17. hahahahah we will sleep together :/ :/ fuck*
unfortunately they forget to ask me, of what I think about whole idea, even when it's going about MY room.
being an adult is so nice. when you can choose which colour do you like, with who you want to met. my parents forget I am 20. forget I have sth to tell them.
even didn't asked about fucking colour of that fucking bed*.
it's time to go from here. it's no place to me in that home.
it's very sad. it is. because my home will be there forever. it's so sad I won't have place for me, or rather there won't be "my" place and place "I like".
Tomorrow Ewa. The day after tomorrow training. Have I told you "Słowianki" can fuck me out of group? Yes, they can. But it's ok, I gave right to myself of not being perfect. I felt much better when I realized that I am not a ballerina- yes, they expect it from me, but I came there to learn, so I will learn how to be a ballerina :) it's ok am not perfect.
mr Grzesiu teacher told me, how courageous I am to go there, from little village to the real world of dance, with a smile on my face and opened heart. He promissed to tell my first dancing mistress. It's great I would -so much- like to hear sometime, that a part of my hobby-love that I gave to somebody , that I am inspirating, that someone saw what I love to do and get the energy to try it for himself.
still pissed, I am going to eat some apple, and try to clean up myfucked* otf room.
there is no me, I don't exist.
green carpet."
od tamtej pory tak wiele się zmienło.

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