beyond worlds.

from that moment, every day of my life will be much more worth than every day ever. I need to be much more worth than ever. 

I just got to know that Insulin can kill me. if there will be too much of Insulin in me, I can fall asleep last time. it's such weird feeling when you know, that your life is truly in your hands. my life belongs to me like in no other time. 

diabetes is my friend. diabetes will be my friend until I'll take a lesson from it. than we will walk away from each other in happiness and health. 

it's weird but I feel that I needed a reason to take a care of myself. my body again was smarter than me. it can be the most important lesson in my life. 

lesson of getting to know body, that I am.

lesson of making my life organized.

lesson of tasting.

lesson of taking care of ada. not only in mental, emotional, psychical way.

I will be in love with tomatoes, pickled cucumbers, grapefruits, and Cola Zero. those things are not making sugar in me rise, so I can eat every amount of those things.

beyond worlds.

little "no fears"

my new friend Insulina.

very, the craziest summer ever. 

did you ever had a walk by the river, in a complete darkness of a night? did you ever had a kiss, sitting on a fallen tree in the middle of a wild river? did you were ever laying on a beach, watching midnight clouds with one of your childhood friends? 
kissing him more than anyone else before.

did you ever met one magic person, who would give you those experiences to pass throught with?

yes, I did.  the night and the sky was the most beautiful. I was the most beautiful, completely naked. the fire was the most beautiful. and you Little Prince very much!

___________________________________

in the most sad place, in the hospital, the sweetest girl in the world, is having a lots of tubes all arroud her hands. that hospital is a kind of space between yesterday and tomorrow. yesterday she heared about  next mystery lesson she will need to take from life. 

Ada you are diabetic. 

and tomorrow will always have one name, a name of a new friend. new best friend called "insulin".

kremerowska away.

I came to Kraków to say "goodbye" to Kremerowska. to apartment I lived for last 6 months. to place I felt so much. I did. and when I said "goodbye" to that magical place, it told me so. 

while coming to Kraków by train, I cryied one tear. I love you Kraków, but just in a moment I am losing you. once again big city overwhelmed me. I so love you city of a dream, but we cannot be together any more.

well. plants need fresh ground to live, to be in a center of beautiful bloom. a space of ground called "fallow". I need to have a possibility to grow in the fallow. or to make possibility to Kraków to be fresh ground, full of vitamins, minerals for me.

I need to make a fallow of my ground everytime I fell the moment. it's so important not to hang in a place you  don't feel.

otfinów.

magical evenings:

look at the green grass. my weight is very low, I'm 43kg. last days, for the first time I very felt rain. my bones felt it. raining rain hurted my bones. every single drop hurted my skin. 

I impress everything just like that rain. again and again I can't not cope. everything is so entangled. and I am totally feeling like I am closed, just like in a bell jar. I am thinking about everyone, but I can't feel someone is thinking about me.

I am feeeling so closed in that world, that I can't understand. 

I need to move on. go somewhere and never come back. there is a year, that I need to be still here. as I am always saying, my world is full of miracles, maybe there will happen an opportunity, not to be here, whatever it means. get a place to be happy somewhere in another world than Poland.

I don't know what is going on with my body, and I am so close to go to doctor even I don't believe in conventional  medicine. I hope my health looks that way because of a place I was living in. a cellar. just a cellar full of a kind of funghi and species of ugly mushrooms. I'd love to let go that place.

fly me.

while walking by the city, with no dreams in head, no emotions to look at the sky, I just looked at my feet. not to stumble. 

than an idea happened. very Cracow earrings made from real pigeon's feathers. 

they are just like me now: delicate and sensitive.